Computers Hate Jack O’Neill
by Wander099
Summary: Computers just hate him. Oh and some JackSam, nothing explicit. One shot. Just some fun.


Title: Computers Hate Jack O'Neill

Author: Wander099

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Stargate Sg-1 or anything affiliated with it, if I did believe me things would be pretty different.

Rating: PG, little swearing and violence toward a defenseless computer, otherwise nothing noteworthy.

Pairing: Jack/Sam established.

Summary: Computers just hate him. Oh and some Jack/Sam, nothing explicit. One shot.

Author's Note: I'm not exactly sure where this one is coming from. The idea just happened. One shot.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill stared blankly at the screen of his computer, it seemed that the stupid piece of crap really hated him. Right now it was giving him the blue screen of death and he couldn't get back into what he was working on.

"Come on, work!" he yelled, but the computer did nothing whatsoever. He was getting very angry and ready to smack the device when he remembered something that Carter had told him not long ago.

"I win this round," he said with a smirk and promptly hit the control, alt and delete keys. Instead of bringing up the task manager the screen went completely blank. "ARGH!" he screamed, startling several people who were passing by the door of his office, "It's not fair, I did what I was supposed to!"

He stood up and glared at the offending piece of technology, "This means war," he snarled menacingly at it.

* * *

Outside in the hall Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter paused in front of the door leading to General O'Neill's office. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to go in there right now. Carter knew that he was in there; it was the question of what on Earth he was doing now that gave her pause. The sounds emanating from behind the door were less than welcoming, there were loud thumps, occasional crashing sounds and many, many yelled curses from the General himself.

Over coming her indecision Carter decided to knock, at the very least she could at least prevent the total destruction of the room. When she heard him yell for her to enter she opened the door and couldn't help but gape at the sight before her.

The General's usually somewhat messy office looked like a tornado had hit it. Papers were all over the floor, file folders spewing their contents everywhere and she didn't even want to think about the state of the computer and right there in the middle of it all stood Jack O'Neill, looking nothing like the General he was. "Um, sir, what happened?" she asked cautiously, shutting the door behind her to stop anyone else from seeing the disaster zone.

"Uh, well it was the computer," he said unhelpfully.

"The computer did not trash your office."

"Well no, but it is the computer's fault," Carter rolled her eyes and Jack glared at her, with him the computer was always to blame. "I was typing up a report when the screen went all blue again."

"Okay, did you do what I told you to do when that happened?"

"Yes and the computer turned off and would not come back on again at all. It was plugged in and everything."

"I'd offer to take a look, but I think you pretty much killed it." Jack looked at her pleadingly, "And no you cannot use my computer."

"Aw come on."

"Not a chance, you are not doing this to my computer and lab as well." Jack pouted, "But I will help you clean up this mess before anyone else sees it."

With Carter's help the four-hour job of resorting the papers and disposing of everything that was destroyed beyond repair only took an hour and a half and his office was neater than before he had trashed it.

* * *

Having nothing better to do, now that his computer was wrecked and he couldn't convince a single person on base to allow him to use theirs (what a shock), Jack wandered down to Carter's lab. There was always something in there that was interesting; perhaps even a certain blonde would be there. If not then he'd turn back, she's be pissed if he broke something in her lab, especially after the fate of his own computer.

He leaned around the corner and peaked into the lab and sure enough there was Carter, typing away on her precious computer. He must have made a sound for she turned around and grinned when she saw him.

Jack strolled around the corner and into the lab, "So, what'cha doin'?"

"Ordering you a new computer."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I have to keep inventing excuses for what happened to the old one. You do go through an astounding amount, people are starting to ask questions."

Jack looked around as if he expected to find other people in the lab with them, "Feel like taking a break?"

"Hm, maybe, depends what you have in mind." His grin told her all she needed to know, "I think a can spare a moment."

She stood and strode over to where Jack stood near the door and planted a kiss on his lips. Before she knew it, she was pushed up against the wall, his mouth devouring hers. Of course at that moment Daniel had to walk into the room.

"Sam I need the data on-" he froze at the sight before him, "Oh. My. God." was all he said before bolting from the room at top speed.

Jack grinned, resting his forehead against Sam's, "Well at least we don't have to figure out how to tell him now," he joked.

Sam walked over to the door and shut it then smiled seductively at Jack, "Come here," she purred.

The End


End file.
